Dear Mom & Dad,
Ever since mom came along, I haven't been able to sleep in the bed anymore. I am not happy about this. It's like you want your sheets clean or something? And besides that, y'all have been sooooo busy lately. I miss you! You're not home very much and instead, you send Uncle Karl to watch me a little too often. He's so fancy! I just want to take a bite out of those gucci shoes . . . Listen, Here's the deal. I know you like to make your bed all nice and neat . . .
But its time I got your attention. You need to play with me more often! And stop leaving me alone with that ratty cat you call Little Brother. Remember last week? We went to the dog park 4 days in a row!!! It was the best week of my life.
So you know what I did to teach you a little lesson? I rolled around in your bed alllllll day long yesterday. Bedding was in the way, so I tossed that off. I made sure to be extra 'sheddy' so your sheets are good and hairy.
Mom and Dad. You're welcome.
I hope you've learned something from this experience.
Norma the Dog